I can never sleep well when my love is out of town. I try to use that time to think. Last night, I was thinking about love. As young adults, teens even, I believe we are conditioned by external factors, about what love is and how it should be. I can definitely say this was true for me. Television, books and other relationships of those around me molded my view, a view which, as an adult, I don’t agree with.
I once believed this notion of “falling in love”. I am so appreciative of the life lessons that have taught me that loving someone is a conscious choice and effort. You don’t just fall into it. I believe people are drawn to one another, as it was with my love. But from there, what happens? Everything that happens is a result of a choice you make. In any relationship, you either nurture it, or it withers away. I can say I am so overjoyed with the way that I am able to love my fiancé! I don’t love her blindly and expect magic to happen. The magic is in the love and care that I put into our relationship. I think about the way that I want to show her my love, and make her feel it. Loving is conscious and constant. The warmth that I feel in my heart, the light in my soul that comes from knowing I am loving this special person with my true and honest heart, giving her the best of me, is sometimes overwhelming. I used to cry from all of the heart break I had experienced. Now, I cry for the beauty of this love, this very conscious love. I utilize all of my senses in loving her. This is the real deal. This is how love should be.