“Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” – Rumi

The selfless mother

“Selfless: concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own; unselfish.”

Ever since I became a mother, I embodied the term, selfless. My children became the primary thing I cared about. I faded away. Now let me say, I’d die for any of my children, without hesitation. I am very proud of them and I have poured unconditional love into their hearts. But here’s this point. If I gave a new mother a word of advice it would be “don’t forget about yourself”. You can be a dedicated mother and still save a little bit for yourself. I didn’t do that. I can’t take back lost time and I don’t regret the time I dedicated to them. But I definitely lost myself. In the past 16 years, I may have done 2-3 things that were strictly for and about myself. Unless you count the extra five minutes in the shower that I’d steal on occasion. 

On my journey of self discovery over the past year, this was one of my realizations. I know it’s important to show myself love, too. I know it’s important, healthy and beneficial for my sanity to take breaks. So maybe now I take fifteen minutes to meditate. Guess what? They understand and they don’t disturb me for those 15 minutes. Minute 16, who can say! But what matters is that I show myself care as well. I deserve it. And they deserve this better version of me, too.


Love what you do

How many of you are stuck doing jobs just because it’s what you happen to have a degree in? Or maybe, it’s just the best job that you can get right now. For years, I held jobs that I knew I would be good at. I would take the job, excel as high as I could go, then I would get bored. The challenge was gone. I wasn’t learning. I wasn’t growing. I was not being creative. (Example: bank teller. Not that it’s a bad job, but there was no challenge. I went a year without an error; but I did love interacting with the clients.) I knew that chapter was closed and I needed a new one. Here’s another question. How many of you are doing what you love? What I love, my passion, my creative gift, is writing. For many years, I said I never wanted to work as a writer because I felt like I never wanted any boundaries or assigned rules placed on my creativity. It’s only now, this past year really, that I learned that I can indeed have a job – a paying one – doing what I love to do! Once I figured that out,  it was a game changer for me. I write. I sought out information, did some research. What I found is that many people, all kinds of people, could greatly use a person with creative writing skills. I love when I encounter other people in a different industry, jewelry makers, massage therapists, etcetera, who say to me “I know how to talk to you about what I do, I just can’t craft it into words.” And that’s when I knew that MY passion, my creative talent really could be my job! In high school, people would come to me, tell me how they felt about their boyfriends or girlfriends, and I would write poems or love letters that they’d then give to them. I thought it was sweet, because I’m a hopeless romantic. In retrospect, that was my first clue that there were other people out there who needed my services. 

I am so glad to say that now, I am doing a job that I love, and loving what I do. My art, my passion can indeed be my career.

Are you doing what you love?

Love Yourself?

I had it all wrong for so long. My capacity to love has always been great. I am a nurturer. In taking care of others, by helping others, I experience joy…and love. There was, however, a critical problem with my method. When I finally stopped to ask myself, “Who was loving me? Who was making me feel loved?” I had a light bulb moment. I am a mother, so of course I feel love from my children. But I began to examine in depth, all of the other relationships in my life. My findings were that about 97% of my relationships were toxic, abusive and/or draining. These relationships were draining my energy immensely. The saddest part, the harshest realization was that the one person who I needed love from the most, was paying no attention… Myself. I had forgotten to take care of and nurture myself. I embarked on an expedition to reclaim my true, loving and happy essence & reacquaint myself with all of the things I loved about me! I let go of the notion that loving myself was selfish or vain. I realized that my relationships were a reflection. I knew that to have loving and healthy relationships, I needed to love myself and become the best version of myself that I could be!

That changed my life so drastically. In rediscovering what I love about myself, I was also able to identify what I didn’t like. The comfort was knowing that anything that I don’t like, I have the power to change. I now have incredible, healthy & happy relationships. I met and fell in love with my soulmate. And, I am confident & proud of who I am becoming.

What about you? Have you forgotten yourself? Or have you totally embraced loving yourself?

Seek & Share Inspiration

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of conversing with a very successful & inspiring woman. I tend to be drawn to people who are creative, strong and driven. Even more so when I meet other women like this, especially those who are brave enough to take on stereotypically male dominated industries and roles. I asked for a sliver of her time because I had a gut feeling that I’d be able to connect with her energy and be inspired by her story, and I was right! What was so lovely is that she was so gracious; she didn’t owe me anything. She gave me some of her time because that’s what a kind and giving person does. Sometimes you have to claw your way to the top and as a result, develop steely armor. I think that makes some people jaded and hard. She was nothing like that. She was happy to share insight and inspiration.

Anytime I encounter someone who still embodies the elements of human kindness and a sense of community, it touches me. I strive to be the kind of person who, no matter how high I climb, I will always be willing to reach back and help someone else. Anytime anyone has ever said to me “you’ve inspired me”, that has gone much further as a compliment than “you look so pretty today”. I encourage you to seek out conversations with people whom you find inspiring and, share your story and your journey with others. You never know who YOU might be inspiring!


Human Tenderness

When I stop and take a quiet minute to float above the bubble of my own life, and view humanity, it saddens me. Human emotions and actions are all always driven by something. Observe the most simplistic of examples: stub your toe = feel pain = shout out. Let’s take the same example and transport it to different places. In the privacy of your own home, you might shout out “ouch” or “ahhhh”! But, if you were in a library you might now be so vocal. What I’m attempting to illustrate is, that to every circumstance, there is a response. You control that response. This is where you meet a fork in the road. What saddens me about humanity is that so many people choose the harder, the more aggressive side. With the current social climate even, couldn’t much more be accomplished by approaching situations with peace and positive suggestions? Problems require solutions. Level headed thinking, approaching things with a little more tenderness, could go a long way. I’m not surprised, by any means, that humanity is this way. People act based on what they learn, as children, from adults. But at some point, children meet that fork in the road too, and have to decide what to choose. If we, as humans, could lead with tenderness & love, I think it would be a huge advance, in comparison to the current track record. Check your Life, assess your actions, always weigh your options and don’t ever think you are. .. “Less than” anyone else. Life’s short but also beautiful, if you live in the light of love & tenderness.

Hello, peace!

I think that when you have simply grown accustomed to chaos, it becomes your normalcy. It is in that state of defeat that one begins to go numb. The problem with that is, you feel nothing! Numb is good for postponing painful feelings, but it mutes out all the joy, too! I remember being conscious of my numbness and just thinking “this is it; this is as good as it gets”. And let me tell you folks, it was not good at all! There’s a saying, “fake it ’til you make it”. I was very good at faking. Then I started meditating, and learning about changing your life by changing your mind! I looked at my fake smile in a picture and decided that I wanted it to be genuine. I wanted my eyes to twinkle naturally, not because I applied some selfie filter! I found the strength within to say two words to myself: I CAN. And I became a peace chaser. It is so important to be mindful of the energy you allow in. It affects whe comes out. I didn’t become some hippie, but I did make the decision to embrace peace and love. We are ever evolving beings. I have grown past the numbness and shed it. I don’t shine, I gleam. To shine is to emit light from a source but when you gleam, you are reflecting your light from many facets. I am a multi-faceted, peace loving upgraded woman! And it feels amazing!


I had never really paid any special attention to the word “out”. It was just another word. That is, until the word stood before me, asking me to finally claim it, to own it. I decided to come out like you’d rip off a bandaid – swiftly. All in the same day, I told my ex-husband that I was filing for divorce and coming out. Within an hour thereafter, I told my children. Then, I called my very Catholic & very Latina mother and told her. The next morning I made the announcement at work. I WAS OUT!  It was the most liberating thing I had ever done! I fell in love with the word “out” because it meant freedom. Coming out was completely empowering. I finally felt like I had the permission – like I had given myself the permission – to live an authentic life. So, one day on a visit to a busy city, I saw this sticker in a shop and knew it was meant to be mine. In all honesty, I wanted to take several and stick them in all kinds of places, share my special word! But I only took one and left the rest, because maybe someone else has claimed this is a special word too. It is in the best place for it, in the front of my journal.

My Voice

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. Life experiences change what you write about and how you write, as they should. I’ve decided to start fresh with this blog since I now have a fresh perspective, a whole new outlook on life. I am the most authentic version of myself that I have ever been. I know my voice. Why do I share my writing? It’s simple. It has never been for notoriety, fame or acclaim. It has always been because I feel that if there is even one person who reads something that I read and feels like they can relate, if my writing speaks to just one and impacts them in some way, then that piece of writing has been a success. I am a very empathetic writer, often placing myself in another’s whose and writing from that perspective. The world is to be experienced. Life is a journey and I just like to share my observations, inspirations and creative, quirky imagination with others! Thank you for visiting and happy reading!

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